


valentines chocolate (and flowers)

by ThatPeskyAloe



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Au everything is like... fine absjsbd, Background Relationships, Banter, Chocolate, Dessert & Sweets, Dirty Jokes, Flowers, Fluff, Gift Giving, Multi, Slice of Life, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:42:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24770260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatPeskyAloe/pseuds/ThatPeskyAloe
Summary: With having a crush on Jack almost being part of working at Hyperion, Jack gets a lot of Valentine's day gifts.In which Blake is snarky, Tassiter is incredibly ballsy and Jack mistakes a vase for something else entirely.
Relationships: Implied Handsome Jack/Nisha (Borderlands), Slight Handsome Jack/Nakayama (Borderlands)
Kudos: 6





	valentines chocolate (and flowers)

"Ugh, jeez. Is there even more this year?"

Having a crush on Jack was pretty much company policy at this point. Which was normally a wonderful thing and so much fun to use to his advantage, but on Valentine's day it got a little annoying. At least he got a lot of chocolate out of it. But most of the people who sent it didn't even know what he liked, so he ended up with a bunch he wouldn't even eat. He sifted through the boxes and bags piled up on his desk and the floor next to it, into piles of what he would and wouldn't actually eat himself. At the moment he was putting a bright pink box into a smaller yet still steadily growing pile.

"White chocolate, huh? Angel likes that stuff... And I'm getting a lot of it. Is that hot this year or something? It's hardly even chocolate, for christsake... She'll be happy with it, at least."

"Would you like a box for it, sir?" Blake asked from across the room, typing away on something or another. 

"Yeah, I'll need one. Seriously, why so much of it this year?" 

He pinched the bridge of his nose, adding another item to the steadily growing white chocolate pile. Blake came over with a box, and packed them into it himself while Jack squinted at the small writing on one box. With the box otherwise completely plain, that was the only clue to what was in it. 

"... I can't read this. Fuck it, I'll just open the thing." He grumbled. He popped it open, peeking inside. "Are these loose dolly mixtures? Who in their right mind... Yeah, I'm binning these. They're gross anyway."

"Agreed."

A few more boxes went into the eating himself pile, and a bag of lemon sherbet sweets ("cool, but who the hell gives these on Valentine's?"), before he was squinting at another box wrapped in gift paper.

"From the R&D team, huh?" He tore off the paper, haphazardly balling it up and tossing it over his shoulder. Let's see then..."

He inspected the box, turning it over in his hands when it became apparent he was looking at the back of it, and broke into a grin. 

"God, that's so nerdy. I bet it was that Gladstone kid's idea for sure. Blake! Check this one out. Kinda neat actually."

"What is it?" Blake looked up from packing up the white chocolate pile. 

"Look at it! It's like, a periodic table of chocolate. I'm keeping this one."

The periodic chocolate table was placed on the eating himself pile, and he slowly sifted through the rest, pausing to briefly Blake on what he actually liked so he could leave it to him while he went to the bathroom. At least these gifts were only from the braver ones... If everyone on the station sent him something, he wouldn't know what the hell to do with it all. 

He came back eventually, congratulating Blake for getting through so much of it before going back to it himself. He would just leave it all to Blake, but sorting through it was a nice little excuse to not to any actual work. And the validation of knowing so many people sent him chocolate certainly didn't hurt. It was a nice little ego boost. 

Well, and he just liked chocolate. He'd made a few sub piles at this point, which Blake had been entrusted with packing into boxes when they got precarious. White chocolate he could pass on to Angel, she adores the stuff. Dark chocolate, especially the stuff with fruit on it, would go to Nisha along with what he got for her once she came back.

"Turkish delight? Yeah, I don't really want to eat perfume... Blake!"

"I'm right here, sir." Blake said from where he was crouched on the other side of the desk. "No need to shout."

"Whatever, I couldn't see you. Do you like this stuff?"

"I do, yes."

"Then you can have it. Happy Valentine's day." He slid the box over to him, and Blake put it off to the side. "You get me anything?"

"Only another year of being your assistant. I know how much chocolate you get first hand. I ought to get you a treadmill instead."

"Ooh, you are _so_ lucky you're a good assistant." Jack grinned. "Anyone else would be out the airlock right now for that one."

"I know. But I'm an excellent assistant."

"Pft, yeah."

And then more quiet sorting. He got one or two more things of Turkish delight and they went to Blake as well, who was idly eating from one box while packing things away.

"..what the hell, is this pasta?" He shook the wrapped box, listening to the rattle of it. "That's gotta be pasta. The fuck?"

He tore off and tossed the wrapping, looking at the box as a grin spread across his face and he started laughing at the absurdity of it. Blake looked up questioningly wondering if someone was going to get airlocked, but saying nothing as he had a sweet in his mouth at the time. 

"Oho, Tassiter! You ballsy bastard. He sent me dick pasta! Blake, make sure you get a chocolate dick sent to him before the day's out!"

Blake swallowed and got up to make a call. "Right away."

"Make sure they know it's urgent! And get it wrapped!"

"I will." 

The sending of dick theme items was a long standing tradition between the two, but pasta was a new one. The clever bastard... He'd need to find something more outlandish next year that'd blow the pasta right out of the water. But for the time being, the chocolate dick would have to do on short notice. 

"Y'know, you and Tassiter are like, the only guys that get chocolate back from me. Or sweets, whatever. Point is, you're one lucky bastard." He got a nod and a smile from Blake who was still on the phone, and kicked his legs up on the desk. Not too much left... He put his legs down and leant over to his own pile, picking out a little plain bar to munch on while he sorted through the rest. He took a bite, humming happily. That was some nice stuff. 

His desk was clear, finally, by the time Blake had finished placing the order. He was knelt down on the floor now, looking through the pile there that hadn't fit on his desk. Nothing was terribly remarkable, just more chocolate, except for the bouquet with something tied to it that had fallen a bit out of view behind the desk. He picked it up, taking a proper look at it. A mix of big yellow and orange flowers, and little blue ones. If he ever got flowers, they were mostly just cliché single roses.

"Huh. Don't normally get flowers..." He turned them over in his hands, lighting up. "'specially not ones with my _favourite_ chocolate tied to them, hello!"

He grinned and happily untied it from the flowers, putting it on his own pile. Out of all the chocolate he got sent, only one was actually his favourite... And the flowers were actually nice. 

"So who sent this, anyway?" He found a little label tied on, squinting at the writing. "Huh, Nakayama?"

"So you _can_ say his name right." 

"Eh, I just say it wrong to tease him, it's funny." He set the flowers down for a second. "Do I have a vase in here?"

"Right there in front of you. On the desk."

"Shut up, I totally knew that." He took the pens out of what he was convinced until now was a weird pencil holder, and passed it to blake. "Put some water in this thing."

Blake took the vase- now he was looking at it he wondered how he'd mistaken it for a pencil holder in the first place- and Jack looked back at the flowers. They really were quite nice. Once Blake came back he sat them in the vase, then the vase on his desk. The colours even fit in with the rest of the place. He nodded approvingly. 

"Y'know what?" Jack said, picking up a box from the pile still there, some assortment thing. It didn't matter that much. "Send these down to him. The flowers are nice."

**Author's Note:**

> This has been in my brain for so long,,,,,, finally got it out there.


End file.
